How?

Do you ever have those moments where you're so upset about something,and there's no one to talk to or no one that'd understand?
What do you do in those moments?
Do you ever have those moments where you're so sad you could just cry but you have no idea why you feel that way?
How do you cheer yourself up when you don't even know what's wrong?
How do you fix a non-existent but existent problem?

Not an addiction...a choice.

I'm a smoker. 

No not cigarettes, i am not ashamed of this flaw of mine. I know the dangers, i have friends that practically scream them at me everyday, but i don't care. 

You why i smoke? because every..i dunno..30 mins or so..that I'm high i have absolutely no problems. I don't think you can fully grasp what that means to me. 

I don't think about school, i don't think about them, i don't think about drama, i don't think about the past or my mistakes, they don't matter at that point, as a matter of fact they don't exist.

I don't know anything else in the world that'd give you that feeling...anything that's accepted that is...so I'll stick with this...for as long as i need it. I have friends that think its an addiction or something close to it..its really not.